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Twenty Eleven.
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Ron♥
All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renenwed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king. I'm just Ron (: br />
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This too shall pass
I look back at all my previous blog posts and i smile to myself.WHOA, i was really a mess. I would have been worried for myself :P I've come to a realization that living in the past, dwelling in those wonderful memories will actually rob the memory of its joy and happiness. And sometimes, missing something IS part of making it a good memory. Without the missing part, the memory won't even be what it is said to be. Awonderful memory. It would be just any other old thought or moment you've spent. Dwelling in those 2010 moments, i was filled with what ifs, regrets, remorse. So much so that i was blinded by what 2011 has brought . I kept comparing everything to last year, to what could have been. But actually, i've been blessed with so much more this year-- so, so much more. I believe everyone has this inner samurai inside of them. I read this on bern's blog before and it really really stuck with me. "When everyone says that they 'want to die' , what they really mean is that they want to live. You say you want to die when you are at your lowest point, and it is at this lowest point, and it is at this lowest point that you are probably not living at all " People want "to die." because they desperately want to live. I've been so overwhelmed with work/pressure/ self-pity/self-hate that i.... broke. I simply fell apart. I've been bottling up so much thoughts/emotions/ pressure that it all came crumbling down one night and i just sat on my room floor with my guitar in my hands and cried. and cried. and cried. I thought i that i could do it, that i was able to deal with it. To put on a smile, and maybe everything will just fall into place. But running away just made it worst. Things soon snowballed and i couldn't take it anymore. No one knew. Not many could tell, not even my closet friends. But i was slowly falling apart. I think only you could tell and i'm so so grateful for having you in my life. But not even my closest closest friends could tell. Even when I tried to tell them, they didn't understand. They thought that it was a phase, stress overload, but they didn't know the intensity of it. and that was how good i was, and that itself was extremely scary now as i look back. My results this term can be a clear reflection of what i was going through. Absolute crap. I've never done so so badly in my life, and i'm sure I'll never perform this badly ever again. My parents had no clue about this. They blamed my results on my always watching the telly. But honestly, i can tell you i have no idea what was airing the past month. I would just turn on the tv, and stone. Turn on the comp, and stone. I was simply so lost/aimless. I had no drive, no purpose and i simply ran out of faith. passion. joy. But my God is good. My God is really really really good. God works in such witty/ powerful ways then i will never fathom. Just when i thought it will be another failure. He gave me a glimmer a hope. A sticker. A pat on the back. A job well done. I cried. In school. But this time, not a sad/regretful kind of cry. It was a wow, why are you so good to me cry. A cry of elation, of hope. I went home that day and suddenly it was like a cloud of grey was lifted from my head :) No more disappointed faces. I needed to see a smile again. I felt so relieved and safe, knowing he was watching over me the whole way. That someone was there all the while. God ah, Y U SO FUNNY :P But you're stronger, stronger than you know. Chin up my friends, this too shall pass. I promise. No more disappointed faces, not mine, not anybody else's.
“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.”
“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”    
Isn’t it odd how much fatter a book gets when you’ve read it several times? As if something were left between the pages every time you read it. Feelings, thoughts, sounds, smells, and then, when you look at the book again many years later, you find yourself there, too, a slightly younger self, slightly different, as if the book had preserved you like a pressed flower, both strange and familiar. I need to stop living for myself and live for something bigger, someone better.
There are two types of people who ask how you're doing. 1) Curious people 2) People who truly care . Who do you tell your problems to?
Just realized facebook has this little corner in your profile page that says " On this day in 2010" :')365 days ago, i was happy. And smiling, for real-- not because i had to. God my God, i cry out, your beloved needs you now.
till we meet again.
There's been so much on my plate, I don't know what to do. To cry? To scream? You're not gonna see me cry this time, i'll survive you. till we meet again.
Today's here. The day I've been dreading & hating. please, don't go? thank you.
     i really really Thank God for giving me such an amazing class+ (mates) the only thing that has been keeping me sane during school hours, the ones that cheer up up when i look "sad" but i'm just dead tired. The ones that make me laugh so hard, i swear i feel packs forming now. The ones that make me see the meaning in school life. WE LOVE MRS CHITRA. She came strolling into class on friday with two trays of brownies, gloves and a knife. " Girls, i brought... FOOD!! I need to pump sugar into your blood, you guys are DEAD" So we spent the entire hour of class eating brownies ( which were really good! ) and performing our NDP item to her. After a standing ovation " Girls, i'm going to be the first one to run up with flowers on that day okay!! " GOTTA LOVE YOUR FORM TEACHER <3 WHATS MORE. they surprised me. and smashed a cake in my face. ( most fun night OF MY LIFE ) *sung to the tune of TGIF * Boom boom boom, even brighter than the moon moon moon, It’s always been inside of you, you, you, so now it’s time to let it boommm… On the 9th of august, we all come together, Flags and stars are being raised, red and white in every place. Tonight at Marina Bay, it’ll be bright in every way. Light the skies with fireworks, we will all progress onwards. Resorts world sentosa, Universal Studios, OH YEAH It’s a green garden city, we will all stand proud and sing. (SING!) It’s national day, yeah we’re turning 46, and we’re dancing to the beat, just forget about the heat. Let’s celebrate, our progress had been made, From the kampongs we graduate, to the city—life’s so great, From our forefathers till today. Cause its national day! Let us all commemorate, This very special day, so we shout hip hip hooray! The parade is marching in, voices singing in the wind. “Ya you know I’m not kidding”, Workers’ party didn’t win. National day … do it allll again. We’re forty sixx… come on celebrate Trying harder day by day, we will never say no way Bring it on, Singapore boleh. Lion, tigers, crest and all. Singapore is winning, and we’re never stopping 2012 we’re coming and you won’t bring us down! Jurong Bird Park, Singapore flyer. OHH! It’s a happy country we will all stand proud and sing! (SING!) It’s national day, yeah we’re turning 46, and we’re dancing to the beat, just forget about the heat. Let’s celebrate, our progress had been made, From the kampongs we graduate, to the city—life’s so great, From our forefathers till today. Singapore boleh, yeah we got the food for thought Biggest sea port, many stops. Streets so clean, we’re so appalled. We got haze, at least we are not burning trees, NEwater, tap so clean Come on, let us all go green. IN singaporeeeeee! 2011! Singapore flyer! Formula one! General elections! Changi Airport! Majuuulaaaahhh Singapurrraa! we're gonna win 2011/2012. #3DESPICABLEME
why do i treat national day so indifferently this year?
“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” we're too young to be this burdened.
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